This year has not gone as I had hoped it would when I woke up on the morning of 01 January 2022.
I wasn’t considering that we’d go into a month-long lockdown shortly after the new year began. I thought it would be impossible that I’d still be unemployed in April. I didn’t think I would get Covid. I had no idea I would not be writing, not doing standup, and wouldn’t be doing all the things I thought I would be doing when I made a plan to do at the end of December.
I had no clue that I would be as stagnant and stuck as I am right now.
I need to create new shit. I need to get my brain moving; dig through my piles of writing, craft supplies, bag of ideas, and tools of inspiration to get going again.
These are my raw materials. This is where I start to get my shit together and try to put something, anything really, together to move my life forward.
Forward isn’t a direction I’ve been going. It’s been years. If I think about it for more than a minute, I can’t remember the last time I felt like I was making any progress. I have a list of things I have to do, I should do, and I could do. Some of them are definitely progress but most of them are just time killers until the next thing shows up for me to deal with.
All the raw materials are here with me and I just need to sort them out, make some sense of them, and start.