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I am an EXTRAvert. I am out there and large in myself in like 80% of what I do. Spending time by myself advances my symptoms of depression. I can’t live without being around other people.

There are so many articles and think pieces about how hard it is to be an introvert and how difficult it is to get ahead in the world if you’re not “a people person” and I think that’s bullshit. I’m not “a people person”. I require regular human contact and interaction to function. The New Normal is not a great place for that kind of contact to happen.

I can usually get an energy fix by going to a public place, but that doesn’t always work if the conversation is shallow. I create work-arounds with phone and video calls with my friends from away. I can make do with what I have. But it’s not the same. Sometimes I think if I had a real sense of embarrassment or shame, I would stop needing to be the center of attention. But I don’t mind it, if it’s for the right reasons. And the right reasons for it are that everyone around gets to have a better time. I binge-watch Netflix so I can have a sense of connection with someone else. I write compulsively when I have no one to talk to.

News articles and listicles abound to shit on extroverts as getting all of life’s rewards and promotions and the entire world is set up for extrovert success. I call even more bullshit. I don’t work in any of the bullshit industries where being outgoing is a skill. I’ve been terminated from job contracts because I was too independent, too chatty, too friendly, too loud, too… just too much everything and anything.

So let me shine and don’t tell me to shut up.

Surprise me with anything you think I’d like, especially if it’s an experience rather than a material thing.

Realize that I need to be around people for my very survival. I want to be busy and have lots of plans and go lots of places.

If you like me or love me, let me know. I know how to take a genuine compliment, most of the time.

Encourage my excitement about things and accept that I will want to talk about and share the things I love with the people I love

Give me choices, not ultimatums.

I will sometimes need to talk shit out, and sometimes I’m looking for answers and sometimes I’m just looking to blow off steam. 

And really, if I’m onto something good, let me just dive in and immerse myself in it.

And that’s how you care for and tend to this extrovert.

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