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Common thoughts before 9 AM:

[redacted due to privacy concerns]

There’s a huge difference between a Butt Dial and a Booty Call and really there shouldn’t be.

The opening riff of Crazy Train.

I need a pair of Adidas shell-toes so I can retire my old Adidas skate shoes.

Cupcakes are breakfast, right?

Tinder is trash.

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Where is my sports bra?

I should go back to bed.

Hey it’s Wednesday! New episode of Hawkeye!

It’s Wednesday, right?

I should call my mum.

Oh man, that’s a lot of red flags there, bud.

How did I break a nail?

Oh, hello?

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“Middle fingers up until the reaper shows up”

There are a lot of songs about having middle fingers up.

I like those songs.

Day drinking is fun.

But I have to go to the gym.

I need to pee.

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