“When you’ve been as depressed as I have for as long as I have (it’s been 30 years) it’s difficult to feel anything about anything but the most amazing of circumstances. I mean, it’s got to be a drunken, orgasmic, ecstasy high, and birthday, Christmas, Halloween, and a near death experience combined to even register as a feeling some days. I always expect that the thing or the person is going to let me down and I’m almost never surprised. I know I’m broken but nothing has ever worked. And I’m tired of being told that I can just decide to be happy and I will be.”