“Today I’m supposed to write something about something and I don’t want to write about you today. I don’t want to dredge through the shit today. I want to be hopeful. I want to be full of energy and feel like there’s something good in the near future for me. I want to not feel haunted by you. I want to wake up just one morning and not be tasked with writing notations on how and where you left the fingerprints on my mind and body.
Please don’t get it twisted, I’m not here to cry. I’m not here to drag your name through the mud. I don’t think about you at all when I’m not sat here in front of my screen to write the story of us. I don’t think about you at all until I hear a song, remember a line from a movie, or you breeze by in my Facebook timeline. I need a prompt to think of you at all. And every day I sit here and try to conjure you and your memories. Every day I try to relive every feeling I had for you, every loving feeling, every rush of blood to the groin, every heartbreak, every wave of indifference, every passion related to you – for better or worse.”