“For months, I felt like I deserved all the hell that went down in that relationship. For months, it was the repayment of my karmic debt. For months, I thought that the best I could hope for was to be in relationships with people just as fucked up and damaged as me. He had big plans for our “family visits”. We would rebuild our relationship while furthering his criminal enterprise and I should feel lucky that anyone wanted to speak to me after all the horrible things I had done and all the people I had sex with. He wanted me to talk to the local rabbi about converting to Judaism for him. He wanted to me to kasher my kitchen. When I told him I had a religion I was unsure I was going to keep and I was more convinced that there was no god, he flipped out. Called me a devil worshiper. Told me I should feel lucky that anyone would love me since I was a Satanist whore.”
I want to punch him in the face.