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“My biggest mistakes were in giving my time, energy, and money to people who were only there because I was giving those things away rather than because they wanted me in their lives. When those things stopped they stopped being in my life. Sometimes because we both shuffled off in our new directions, sometimes under threat of restraining order, but always because I’d reached the end of the fucks I was willing to give. And I’ve never got to the point of indifference over any of them.

What I’ve learned is that those mistakes can still be mistakes. I’m allowed to have conflicted feelings about them. I’m still allowed to love them even though I don’t want them in my life or Facebook feed. I’m allowed to love them and have that be enough. I don’t have to do anything about it. We don’t have to date or fuck or send birthday cards or acknowledge each other’s existence. I don’t have to do a damn thing to prove my love except to feel it.”

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