“I have been holding my hands, poised for typing, on the keyboard for about three minutes now. I feel sick and panicked just thinking about typing words that might mean something or reveal something that will push me over the edge emotionally. I spent a good portion of yesterday just on the verge of crying and playing clicky games online or on my phone to keep from bursting. Distraction, distraction, distraction. Don’t feel anything. Stay numbed out and away from anything that might give feelings.”